It takes a village to raise a child. I’ve heard this before. It’s not that I doubt this to be true, but until recently it didn’t resonate with me.

When you’re pregnant (with your first child, especially), everyone has advice for you – about being pregnant, about childbirth, about raising your child. The only advice I give to soon-to-be parents is this – Everyone will have advice for you so take it or leave it, and carry snacks and a bottle of water with you wherever you go. Who am I to tell you how to raise your kids?

I have the absolute best parents and in-laws anyone could ask for. They have never offered parenting advice in front of our son (which can cause problems on so many levels) and they’re always there when we need them. I know I can call them anytime and they’ll offer an ear to listen, a suggestion to solve a problem or a shoulder to cry on.

Our 6th grader has given us a fit with his grades and general attitude toward school. We pride ourselves on being self-sufficient grown-ups, but there are some days when it seems everything we try just doesn’t work.

When you’ve restricted him from every video game, computer, phone privileges, his skateboard, staying home by himself while we go to the grocery store, everything we could think of – and nothing seems to work… What do you do then?

You enlist the help of the village.

You know as well as I do that children will listen to everyone except their parents. You tell him that new shirt is awesome, but he doesn’t want to wear it … until his friend sees it hanging in his closet and says how awesome it is. Now it’s his new favorite shirt. Of course.

I can tell you that our son looks up to his grandpa and adores both of his grandmothers. So when he got in trouble at school and had to explain himself to all of his grandparents, the crocodile tears came streaming out.

Each time he talked to a different family member, he heard a different perspective. Grandpa told him that as he gets older he’ll have to take more responsibility for his actions. When you’re little, people will write it off as “being a kid” but he’s not a little one anymore at 12 years old. Granny told him to think about his teacher, think about it from her point of view, and to consider the feelings of others.

You can learn something from each member of your village.

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